Case Study

S is a 60 year old heterosexual woman who requested counselling because she was having difficulties in her communication with her partner of 3 years and she feared the relationship was at risk of breaking down and this was impacting her mood.

 

We began to explore the couples communication patterns and S's experiences in previous intimate relationships. It became apparent that S had been very much affected by a previous 12 year relationship, which had elements of coercive control, and by her difficult childhood. Her childhood experiences had contributed to her life-long struggle with anxiety which she had tried to manage by means of various self help strategies.

 

Counsellor comments:

"One strand of the counselling sessions was to explore more deeply the origins of the anxiety and look at some different strategies to manage this. Secondly, by exploring with S her expectations of intimate partner relationships and her disappointment that these have not been fulfilled in this current relationship, she has been able to recognise many
positive aspects to the relationship that she has not experienced in previous intimate relationships. I shared with S my curiosity about some of her partners communication patterns and behaviours that she had described and told S that I wondered if he had some autistic spectrum condition(ASC) tendencies. She told me that friends had suggested this to her previously."

 

S went away and did some research on the subject, undertaking an online course, and said that this helped her to understand her partners needs and thinking patterns better. We have explored together the advantages and disadvantages of having an intimate relationship with a partner with ASC tendencies. This has helped her to have more realistic expectations of their relationship, value it more, and believe that it is sustainable.